dealing the cards like a meditation

Thursday, August 14, 2003

originally written Tue Aug 12 02:08:54 PM

This covers me: knight of wands reversed
This crosses me: the star
This is beneath me: the fool reversed
This is behind me: the high priestess
This crowns me: king of pentacles
This is before me: page of wands reversed
My fears: 4 of wands reversed
What others think: queen of wands reversed
My hopes: 3 of pentacles
The final outcome: 10 of pentacles reversed

i finally found Learning the Tarot by Joan Bunning at b&n the other day. i was surprised that this wasn't more readily available. the only thing is that it doesn't really discuss reversed cards. i like, however, how it gives pointers for how to act on your readings, sometimes even little exercises to do when a certain card comes up in a certain position, for example. also, i've only really skimmed through it here and there, and haven't really dug deep into it, so who knows what else i might find. plus, i like how much more expansive Bunning's interpretations are. i would even say that the interpretations are pretty optimistic for the most part, even for bad cards. up until now, for the longest time, i'd been exclusively using A Complete Guide to the Tarot by Eden Gray (i started trying to read the cards only 6 years ago, mind you.) this book is is 30 years old, and gives short, sometimes dire interpretations.

anyway, the cards i drew were somewhat optimistic, although given the number of reversed cards, it isn't as good as it could be. in fact, if you read Gray's interpretations, there is a lot of cruelty and domineering going on.

the star returns, bringing hope and inspiration. i love this card. i also like Bunning's caveat that this card only marks beginnings: hope is necessary to achieve great things, but you still have to act. again, the high priestess is present, in the 4th position, perhaps indicating that her influence is passing from my life. it's kind of sad if it's true (Gray interpets the high priestess as the woman of my dreams) but such is the impermanence of the world, i suppose. i also noticed a lot of wands, which, according to Gray, betoken fire, and growth and change. reminding me of chapparal, a plant found throughout california, whose seed can only grow after a catastrophic fire. also reminding me of a poem i once wrote. reminding me of a quote from one of my favorite books: "i did not know i was so empty, to be so full." meaning, that in order to receive, you must let go. makes sense to me.

the 3 of pentacles has come up a lot, too, and i am beginning to take it to mean my ultimate goal, to become a healer by profession. in many ways, i am not on this road alone.

the 10 of pentacles reversed indicates misfortune according to Gray, but in any case, it seems to indicate a family matter. the more i reflect on that, the more i feel trepidation, but what must be, must be, i suppose.
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