dealing the cards like a meditation

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

I have been asking the Oracle questions, because nothing else seems to snap me out of my brooding.

As they say, advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer but wish you didn't.

So the cards actually told me that I just have to let go of the past. Whatever that means. It's a very trite phrase, but when you stop and deconstruct it, what does it really mean? How do you let go of memories and still remember who you are?

Well. I guess it's something I have to find out.

Deep down inside, I know that these memories of what never was are killing me.

The other interesting thing: the Queen of Wands keeps popping up in my reads. I kind of wonder who she is, if she's really a she, if she's even a person.

The thing is, none of the reads really ended happily. There was always a Catch-22 embedded in the final card.

Am I just doomed?

Well, I guess I am. All men are doomed to die. But I dunno.

One thing at a time, right?

Phase I: Letting go of the past. Well get to Phase II when we get there.

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