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dealing the cards like a meditation
Saturday, August 02, 2003
I was so unhappy with the last reading that I decided to do another one, this time making my query more explicit.
This covers me: 3 of cups
This crosses me: 9 of swords
This is beneath me: queen of wands
This is behind me: 8 of wands
This crowns me: knight of swords
This is before me: 4 of swords
My fears: page of swords
What others think: king of cups
My hopes: 2 of swords (reversed)
The final outcome: 2 of wands
While no major arcana in this one, it looks much more hopeful, with a few cards pointing to things actually turning out right. The cards that cover/cross me are very fitting in light of my question: the 3 of cups is very hopeful while the 9 of swords is very bleak (a woman wakes up in her bed weeping in the dark) So it feels like things hang in balance. Very fitting for my near-borderline personality. And this is not the first time the 2 of wands has come up. But, again, I am just at the beginning of the road, with no inkling of where my destination is. I guess I just need to sit back and enjoy the ride, I suppose.
Given that the last, bleak reading has all sorts of major arcana, which seems to indicate that a lot of these will be horribly out of my control, while this reading has none, meaning that it is more applicable to things that I can control, I am reminded of this passage from Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk (which I've mentioned before):
This covers me: 3 of cups
This crosses me: 9 of swords
This is beneath me: queen of wands
This is behind me: 8 of wands
This crowns me: knight of swords
This is before me: 4 of swords
My fears: page of swords
What others think: king of cups
My hopes: 2 of swords (reversed)
The final outcome: 2 of wands
While no major arcana in this one, it looks much more hopeful, with a few cards pointing to things actually turning out right. The cards that cover/cross me are very fitting in light of my question: the 3 of cups is very hopeful while the 9 of swords is very bleak (a woman wakes up in her bed weeping in the dark) So it feels like things hang in balance. Very fitting for my near-borderline personality. And this is not the first time the 2 of wands has come up. But, again, I am just at the beginning of the road, with no inkling of where my destination is. I guess I just need to sit back and enjoy the ride, I suppose.
Given that the last, bleak reading has all sorts of major arcana, which seems to indicate that a lot of these will be horribly out of my control, while this reading has none, meaning that it is more applicable to things that I can control, I am reminded of this passage from Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk (which I've mentioned before):
With my eyes closed, I ask if she knows how this will all turn out.
"Long-term or short-term?" she asks.
Both.
"Long-term," she says, "we're all going to die. Then our bodies will rot. No surprise there. Short-term, we're going to live happily ever after."
Really?
"Really," she says. "So don't sweat.... Can you just relax and let things happen?"
I ask, does she mean, like disasters, like pain, like misery? Can I just let all that happen?
"And Joy," she says, "and Serenity, and Happiness, and Contentment.... You don't have to control everything," she says. "You can't control everything."
But you can be ready for disaster....
"If you worry about disaster all the time, that's what you're going to get...."
The whole world is a disaster waiting to happen....
"No matter what happens," [she] says, "no matter what you do... it's the right thing."
